Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse!
The cookies I’d nibble, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties, had gone to my waist.
When I got to the scales, there arose such a number,
then I'd walk to the shop (less walk than a lumber)
I remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare.
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I never said, "No thank you, " to these.
As I dressed myself in my biggest old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as only I can,
"You can't spend a winter the size of a van!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished."
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew, on a celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or donuts, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry:
"I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore!"
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy new year to all and to all a good diet.
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse!
The cookies I’d nibble, the eggnog I'd taste
At the holiday parties, had gone to my waist.
When I got to the scales, there arose such a number,
then I'd walk to the shop (less walk than a lumber)
I remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare.
The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I never said, "No thank you, " to these.
As I dressed myself in my biggest old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt...
I said to myself, as only I can,
"You can't spend a winter the size of a van!"
So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished."
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew, on a celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or donuts, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry:
"I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore!"
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy new year to all and to all a good diet.